It’s still hard to comprehend some days that it’s over. I truly enjoyed training for Boston for so many reasons. First I had an amazing group of experienced runners from the Cape Cod Athletic Club who kept me focused and motivated for 18 weeks. They made me want to run better…stronger, faster, and more confident.
I am so happy to call these people friends now. They kept me going through the winter and after the marathon. I really struggled in the three to four weeks after Boston. I think I had some mild depression (self diagnosed of course). My running group saved me. They called when I didn’t show up for group runs. They sent texts encouraging me to come back, saying they missed me. After three weeks, I went to one of the group runs because they said they were getting concerned. Thank goodness they called and text because for some reason, I thought I needed a break from running. Next they encouraged me to sign up for the track speed work group. I was feeling lost and thought a little change would help things.
I miss having something to look forward to and to work towards. It’s funny I have run two half marathons and several 5Ks since the marathon but for some reason it’s just not the same. As everything related to the marathon seemed to settle down and life went back to what it was before the marathon, I began to realize that the marathon did so much more for me than I wanted to admit.
The marathon, the training, and the fundraising were a great distraction from other things going on in my life. I’m still not sure if it’s good or bad but I found away to push everything else away, not deal with it, and just focus on the running. Now that the marathon is over I’m forced to focus on the other things in life. I find myself at a cross roads and can not decide whether to go left or go right. I’ve tried to use running and working out to bring some clarity but it doesn’t seem to be working. I am feeling lost in what direction my life should head in next.
I am very fortunate to many great things in my life but there are definitely a few holes that I would like to fill in. I seem to have spent the majority of my life taking care of others. I love to help others, so don’t get me wrong. But I some how I forgot to take care of myself because it was always easier to help everyone else. Training for the marathon made me focus on taking care of Christine and it was easy because I had a plan. I had a calendar which told me what to do everyday, how far to run, when to do speed work, when to cross train, and when to rest. I had a nutrition plan too. The training was time-consuming and it filled the days and voids.
I’ve been trying to figure out how to get back into focusing on me. Several people have suggested making a small change or doing something different. I having been trying to figure out what “my something different” might be. I am not ready to train and run another marathon yet, so that is out of the picture.
The first thing I did was to sign up for a different kind of race and something very challenging for me. A close friend had this great idea to sign up for the Spartan Beast. She suggested that it would be a great challenge for the both of us, something we could overcome together, and empower ourself to be better, stronger, and more confident. I thought this sounded like a great idea and the two of us rushed to sign up the race. We are committed to the September 20, 2014 Spartan Beast in Vermont. I am pretty sure this will be one of the hardest things I have ever done and possibly even more challenging than the marathon. The good part is that I am not worried about the distance, 12-14 miles, but I definitely concerned about the obstacles. My legs are pretty strong but my upper body needs a lot of work. I am looking forward to conquering this and finishing the Beast. Please feel free to offer up any thoughts or suggestions.
The second thing I’ve done to change things up is, I bought a stand up paddle board. It was a pretty penny but one of the best things I’ve bought in a long time. I am loving my time out on the water, the adventure, and the peacefulness of it. I live on Cape Cod, which is a great place to paddle board. The only down fall is that I id not grow up around here or on the water so I am not comfortable heading out by myself just yet. I need to find a few more people who have boards and want to head out on the waters of Cape Cod. I just bought this great book, Paddling Cape Cod, and it has all the best spots to hit. I’m hoping to check most of them out this summer. If anyone is up for a paddle board adventure, let me know!
In the mean time I am going to keep looking for my Superman! I need someone to come in and save the day and take care of me. The hard part is that I think I know who my Superman is but I need him to figure it out before it’s too late. I need him to help me find my super powers and fill in those holes.